Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
