There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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