Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
