i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
