i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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