I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize