i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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