We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
