their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there was a trapeze. enough said
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
