I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
