I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
