Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My vagina is officially offended.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
