if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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