Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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