I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize