Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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