You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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