We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
