who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
