I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Two words: blizzard sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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