i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
