She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
