this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's shark week go big or go home
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I supernannyed him into submission
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
