we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
