She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
