Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
True strength comes from lack of pants
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
