U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
