Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
