I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
