It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
