maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
