I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Who died my cat blue again?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
soo... how was my night?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
