so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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