Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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