dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
