I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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