goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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