okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
