I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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