it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They took my balls.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
