Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm like, not good at living.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
