Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
