I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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