i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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