are you still at the devil's house?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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