last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
