how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize