he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize