it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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