Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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