Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
