Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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