your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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