There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize