hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
