Me too!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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