very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i think i have two assholes
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
did i walk over a car last night?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
