If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
me + whiskey = a bad person
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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