Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my poor anus
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
