Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
