Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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