The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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