By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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